Forward

forward-j-saman

He promised to love me forever. But when I woke up to find Levi gone without a trace, he broke that promise.

Lara Gould finally has everything going for her. Amazing job, great apartment and a boyfriend who loves her. That is, until one night when her past and present collide. The man she thought she’d love forever vanished without a trace seven years ago, breaking her heart.

Suddenly Levi has returned and is making some big waves in Lara’s life. But can she trust him? Why did he leave all those years ago? Her new boyfriend Tom, is perfect. Smart, sexy and adoring with a British accent Lara can’t help but love.

When Tom asks her for a future in another country, Lara finds she has a big decision to make. Who does she move forward with? The man of her past or the man of her present.

$2.99 〉 $0.99 (Feb 11-12)
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CLICK TO EXPAND EXCERPT FROM “FORWARD”

“I’m sure you are.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “Just ring before you leave and I’ll send Ivan to fetch you. I don’t want you taking the bus this late.” He’s so considerate. I feel like a lying bitch. I have a man in my room, on my bed asking me what I want from him.

Could I be anymore horrible?

“I can take a cab,” I tell him.

“No, it’s monkey’s outside. I’ll send Ivan. Message me and he’ll be there. See you in a bit. Love you.” I smile because I actually know that when he says it’s monkey’s outside, it means it’s cold. I learned that one our first winter together.

Still, it’s hard to keep up with his British-isms.

It’s like a new language.

One I’ll have to learn.

“You too,” I tell him and hang up. I put my phone down, leaning my head against the fabric of the headboard. Levi is facing forward not looking at me. “Sorry,” I tell his back. He nods his head, but doesn’t turn to me. I hate the idea of hurting him. It’s certainly not my intention. He takes off his shoes suddenly, turns and climbs towards me on the bed. My breath catches and my eyes widen in surprise. I have no idea what he’s doing.

Seeing my reaction, he smirks as he continues crawling towards me predator style. As he approaches, his smile widens, but just before he enters my personal space, he flips over, sitting next to me at the head of my bed. “Got your heart racing there for a minute, didn’t I?” he teases.

“Such a dick,” I mutter.

“I’m willing to show you just what a dick I can be.” Apparently he never changes.

I smack his chest. “Asshole.” He lets out an oomph, followed by a laugh.

“Are you really moving to London with him?” he asks, ending any levity we just had. I turn to him, but his expression is unreadable.

Am I going to London with Tom?

It’s a really good question. If I don’t go then I’m essentially ending things with him, and I don’t want that. I know I don’t.

I still have feelings for Levi.

I know this too.

I always have.

They may have been dormant, but they’re there, under the surface. What do I do about that? Do I want to try with him again, unsure as to how his sister will react to me? Knowing that he could leave New York again for his work? His first priority would always be Tanya, which is how it should be. He’s responsible for a minor child.

“Are you, Lara?” he prompts, since I never answered him.

“Yes,” I whisper. I feel so much pain from that one little word. That one word signifies the official end to us. I suck in a huge breath that resonates inside of me.

The closure I was seeking suddenly feels more like a big gaping wound.

“Hey,” Levi pulls me to him, wiping my tears with his thumbs. “It’s okay, baby. It is. You deserve to be happy.”

I sob. “So do you. You’ve had so much pain all these years and all I want is to make it better. Make it go away.” He kisses my head as I lay crying against his chest. He smells the same. That damn stupid aftershave that I bought him all those years ago. He feels the same, but different too—stronger, bigger, more manly.

He feels good.

He feels…like home.

 

 


Author: J. Saman

J. Saman

Author, avid reader, mommy, nurse practitioner.  Writing contemporary romance books that have a bit of an edge is my thing.

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Posted in $0.99 Books, Contemporary, Excerpt, J Saman

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